Scammer Excuses: Spot the Red Flags in Online Dating

Ever have a conversation online that made your gut say, "Something’s off"? Dating scammers are pros at spinning excuses—always just believable enough to make you question yourself. They build trust fast, then hit you with tall tales when it matters most. Knowing their go-to excuses is the best way to stay ahead of the game.

The most common excuse? Travel drama. Scammers often claim they're suddenly stuck overseas for work, in the military, or handling a mysterious family emergency. Next, a problem pops up: lost wallet, passport issues, or a so-called business deal gone wrong. Why all the travel trouble? It explains why they can’t meet in person or video chat, and it sets up the next step—asking for money to "get home" or "fix things." Whenever someone you've never met in real life has an endless list of reasons to avoid video calls and offers up crisis after crisis, that’s a giant red flag waving in the wind.

Classic scammer excuses rarely stop at travel. They might tell you they fell ill, had an accident, or a loved one got hurt. Suddenly, there’s a medical bill or an "urgent need" only you can help with. Scammers love emotional manipulation. They rush you, lean hard into stories, and use your sympathy against you. The pressure to respond fast is always there—watch for sob stories that push you to act before you can think things through.

Money requests are the biggest giveaway. It almost never starts with them asking right away. First, it's "I trust you," or "I feel a deep connection." Then comes the excuse: their bank is frozen, their card doesn’t work internationally, or some weird tech issue stops them from using apps like PayPal. A scammer may ask for a prepaid gift card, a wire transfer, or even crypto. They’ll have a “one-time urgent expense”—but if you pay, another excuse always follows.

Scammers get creative with identity, too. If they claim to be a celebrity, a doctor working in a conflict zone, or a successful investor, slow down. They often avoid live calls by saying their phone broke, their camera doesn’t work, or they’re in a spot with poor internet. If their photos look movie-star quality or their stories keep changing, take a closer look. Run their pics through a reverse image search—lots of scammers steal professional photos.

Don’t forget the tiny details: poor grammar, strange time zones, or super-fast declarations of love are all warning signs. If someone dodges basic questions or their background keeps shifting, you’re probably talking to a scammer. Trust your instincts. If your gut says "this doesn’t add up," it’s right more often than not.

Staying safe is about awareness, not paranoia. Never send money or personal details, no matter how convincing their story is. If you spot a scammer excuse, end the conversation. Report and block. There are real connections out there—you just have to be smart about weeding out the fakes.